I had a little run in with a local Neo-Conservative Politico a few weeks ago. The forum: a 10-year-old girls’ Indoor Soccer game. It’s a game we consider to be recreational: soccer as hockey using the walls. Our team is an inclusive one; no tryouts, no cuts, and with mixed ages. We have 3rd graders and 4th graders.

We come a little early as requested by our coach, a twenty-something kid, so I watched our sister team play for a spot in the final. They were losing 4:1 which was a really respectable showing for them given that they have 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders on their team and were playing a 4th grade club soccer team.

Then a mom friend whose daughter is on the team told me something that made my blood boil. Apparently, a girl on the Club Soccer Team  said very loudly after scoring one of the goals, “That was so easy. This team is sooo bad.” And her mean-girl teammate snickered in support, as all sidekicks to bullies tend to do.

We ended up playing the mean-girl team in the final; not a surprise as they are (or were) undefeated. We came out strong and dominated the ball. By the half, we were up 5:0.

How Soccer is a Microcosm of Our World

It was clear that this game I was watching is a microcosm of the world we live in; dominated by entitled WASPy Republicans who are used to winning. They want to keep their CEO positions on Fortune 500 companies. No doubt too that they are the alumni clout keeping Asian Americans from taking too many coveted spots at Ivy League colleges. In short, Republicans ARE the Bamboo Curtain.

My daughter was the only Asian American on the field and I like to think she was not being mugged because of her race but because she was playing very well. Nevertheless, she was tripped three times in quick succession and then, 5 inches in front of my face, I watched her being shoved around with elbows thrown at her head.

Something in me snapped. I’m tired of being the meek Asian American who takes it quietly and without fuss. That’s the stereotype for Asian Americans, yes? And there’s a long history of this but it hasn’t served us well. So I yelled two words, “Stop shoving!”

Yes, dear reader, I shouldn’t have. But honestly, I lost it.

At the half, the Neo-Conservative Republican coach came out screaming. Literally screaming. In front of all of us including 2 dozen 10-year-old girls. He had lots of complaints including that I was giving instructions to his team (which he then had to redirect. As in, belay that order to stop shoving and continue shoving and throwing elbows.) Did he actually do this? I don’t know, but his team’s fouling starting escalating exponentially by the number goals they were down.

At the end of game line up. Each team high fives their opponents with a string of “good game.” It can be perfunctory though the point of it is to teach good sportsmanship. I was appalled to learn that the Neo-Conservative Coach told a little girl on our team, “Nice game, I guess” in a very sneering tone. (She used the word sneering herself!).

At the end of the game, this coach threw another screaming nutty at our coach that lasted a good half hour. He yelled and screamed that our team should not have won; was not the victor. He wanted a rematch. His adult tantrum ruined the victory for our kids. They were shocked and horrified. Our young coach was shaken up. And he’s 12 inches shorter too.

It’s just a game. These are 10-year-old girls. And I have no idea why a club soccer team is playing recreational indoor soccer in the first place. All the other club soccer teams are playing Futsol in a more even match up of club team to club team. He was just here to dominate on an uneven playing field, creating a breeding ground for arrogant behavior that included mean girl bullying.

That a very Republican thing to do. Aren’t they always insisting on recounts even as they rig the ballots? They like an uneven field when they have the upper hand. Isn’t that why they are always gerrymandering, trying to artificially draw lines to reduce the density of ethic populations?

Republicans Are The Bamboo Curtain We Face

Who are the faces that construct this very real bamboo ceiling that Asian Americans face daily whether in the corporate world or when applying to college? Who is being nudged aside to make way for diversity? Let me tell you, it’s not the new immigrants who held the power for centuries. It’s the old guard … made up of Republicans.

In this instance on a indoor soccer field, it has a real face. It’s this one:

Just like this entitled little girls’ soccer team was not using to losing; they had never lost an indoor game in several years, they weren’t going to go quietly in defeat.

After the half when the ref came over to tell us all to keep quiet, a ball came sailing over the half wall towards my head. It was from the other team. A dad from our team leaned over and whispered, “I think she was aiming for you.” Was she the coach’s daughter? Possibly. I laughed and said, “Well, they lost possession.” When our team got the ball, they sailed it to the other end of the field and my daughter drilled it in for the final goal, beating them 6:3.

Some Stereotypes are True

As for that ball that came sailing to my head, a word to the Republicans: yes, we all know martial arts. We are not going to be silenced any more nor are we going to take this lopsided set of rules that is our current paradigm. You want to keep us down? We are going to fight back. With words. With actions. With blog posts. With tweets. With social media that you ancient prehistorical Republicans don’t seem to understand. It’s a whole new world with a more level playing field.

Did that ball hit my head? Fifteen years of MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) training kicked it. Left fist up. Elbow in. Very slight twist to the right. An easy and instinctive block. Let that be a metaphor to Republicans. But let this be a lesson to us Asian Americans:

• If we excel, expect increased pressure to keep us down.
• If we win, our win will be challenged.
• Tactics like intimidation and bullying will be used.
• Silence is expected.

Have a voice. Fight back. Train harder. And always, always, get that black belt. You never know when it will come in handy.

p.s. Here’s an article on bullying on CNN. Bullies use all sorts of covert weapons from mean girl intimidation to superior height. Sound familiar? The suggested response? Fight back. Don’t be silent.

Asian America Growing Fastest

Data Skewed to Show Asian American Success

Despite their very different histories in this country, Asian-Americans now share with American Jews both the distinction and the occasional burden of phenomenal immigrant success.

This Wall Street Journal article, Rise of the Tiger Nation, makes it seem like Asian Americans are succeeding everywhere you turn. This simply isn’t true. The article declines to include recent Asian American immigrants: the Hmongs, the Vietnamese, the Cambodians and any other Asian American group not at the top of the pyramid. They are among the Asian Americans still living in poverty yet they are lumped (or not as this article fails to include them in order to skew the stats into an overwhelming success story) into this polygot “American-defined” group defined, falsely, as Asian American.

As you can see, you can slice the data anyway you want it. Asian American isn’t a real group. There is no such thing as Asian American that actually transcends language, culture, religion or geography.

• For the purposes of demographic studies, Asian-Americans are defined as Chinese, Filipino, Indian, Vietnamese, Korean and Japanese, with the Chinese being the largest group and the Japanese the smallest.
• The Pew study is rich with statistics: The Indians and Filipinos lead Asian-Americans in household wealth, Asian-Americans vote mostly liberal, the Japanese and Filipinos are most likely to marry outside their group, more Chinese-Americans than any other Asian-American group say they are doing better materially than their parents were at a similar age.
• Asian-Americans have become the immigrant group that most embodies the American promise of success driven by will and resolve.
• When, six years ago, the Korean-American management consultant Yul Kwon won the 13th season of “Survivor,” it must have been a social scientist’s dream come true. The show’s producers had separated that season’s contestants into ethnically and racially divided groups: white, black, Hispanic and Asian-American. Never mind the sorry lack of taste. The crude segregation also served as an illumination, bringing to the surface America’s eternal subterranean scrimmage between newly arrived tribes. Mr. Kwon’s victory made abstract social trends vividly concrete.
• Not only had Asian-Americans gone beyond Hispanics as the most populous group of new American immigrants. They had risen to the top in the pursuit of the American dream.
• Asian-Americans have followed the opposite trajectory from Jewish-Americans. Toxic racism and then prohibitions against immigration prevented them from rising in American society for nearly a century. And then they did so with unique alacrity.

Chinese American Chinatown: 9-Man Street Ball

A slice of Chinatown history comes forth in a project from first time director Ursula Liang for the documentary “9-Man.” 9-Man, a street Chinatown sport created when the Chinese Exclusion Act forced Chinese restaurant workers and laundrymen to socialize exclusively amongst themselves. This  nine-man sport offered both escape and fraternity for men who were separated from their families in China and facing extreme discrimination and distrust.

What is it?  It’s fast, chaotic, unpredictable, grueling; the rules are distinct and exist no where else in the world—imagine volleyball with 18 guys, dunks, and bloodied elbows.

Stay tuned for the film!

9-Man introduces the history of the game and a diverse cast of modern-day characters – from 6’7″ Olympian Kevin Wong to a 91-year-old pioneer – combining vérité footage and interviews with never before seen archival footage and photos sourced directly from the community. Pivoting between oil-spotted Chinatown parking lots and jellyfish-filled banquet scenes, the film captures the spirit of nine-man as players not only battle for a championship but fight to preserve a sport that holds so much history.

p.s. To support the film, here’s the Kickstarter link. It’s fully funded but she has a great video there of what she’s trying to do.

Season 2: K-Town, The Reality Show

The rise of Korean Power. Does Gangnam style make K-Town The Reality Show more relevant somehow? New kids join the fray: Jasmine’s sister, Joe’s girlfriend, Young’s wife and more. I think the food is the best part. The K-Town crew eat well and it makes me hungry!

Season 2, Episode 1: They’re Back

Young takes a job in Guam, the K-Town crew to throw his LA wedding in a week, Steve’s the best man, Audrey Magazine Fashion Show. More fighting and drunkenness.

Season 2, Episode 2: I Am King

Tacky couple of the week, Young’s wedding, more stupid drinking games, a new hairstyle for Steve and we meet Violet’s son. Girls at the gun range.

Season 2, Episode 3: Friendly Fire

The juvenile show: they get drunk and fight with each other. It starts with Scarlet and Jasmine fighting and then everyone gets dragged into it. Fighting all around. This gets boring. Jowe is an ass again; could his ego be any bigger? It’s certainly larger than his brain. Beer bong antics. Young regrets giving up his dance dream. I hope he doesn’t move to Guam. He’s the soul of the show.

Season 2, Episode 4: The Bachelor Party

Young’s bachelor party. One word for the K-Town bachelors hitting on girls: awkward! Tacky Asian Couple of the week revenge. Steve loses it again after Joe’s girlfriend Jessica calls Steve a loser. An unimpressive drunken girl slap fight.

Season 2, Episode 5: From Bad to Worse

The only intelligent thing Steve has ever said: Bachelor Party from Hell. Jessica has an ultimatum for Joe: Her or Jowe. Scarlet shows Soyoung some stripper dance moves. Steve crossed Jasmine when he kisses a girl at the bar. Steve is drunk again. Could he be more idiotic? I think not.

Season 2, Episode 6: Here Comes the Bride

Violet and Jessica make up, sort of. Jowe’s not well endowed. Why does Joe wear headbands anyway? Steve is getting his Mohawk removed. So ironic that Young is the most mature of them all. I mean, his name is Young. He is the only guy who doesn’t have commitment issues in this dysfunctional group. Joe is smart not to take relationship advice from Steve and Jowe. Signature cocktail emergency (Steve to blame, shocker!).

Season 2, Episode 7: Till Death Do Us Part

Young is so sweet. He loves Soyoung so much and she looks so beautiful! Andrew Garcia performed beautifully. Everything is going so well! Maid of Honor Toast. Scarlet gave a lovely toast. Best Man Toast. Steve is nervous but not drunk (at least I hope not). That’s the good news. He has notes. Good sign! It appears to be a multi-part speech. I suppose it could be worse. Joe has to intervene and take the mike away from Steve. Is Joe going next? He’s been doing a lot of thinking … We need an encore after Steve interrupts. Joe has something important to say … Stay tuned. More drama!

I think this is the end of K-Town The Reality Show. It just didn’t seem to get an momentum. The numbers for Facebook Likes and YouTube views keep dropping show by show. A more interesting plot would have helped. Diving deeper beyond drunken fighting would have been my preference. What’s next for the cast?

Advice for Cast in 2013

Joe: Hire a personal stylist and lose the headband. Forget wedding planning and focus on Corporate Events. Start with companies based in K-Town.

Steve: Join a 12-Step Program or check into Betty Ford Center. Lose the Mohawk Peter Pan! Stop drinking. You can ill afford to lose any more brain cells.

Scarlet: Get a sales job in a male oriented industry. Clean up your mouth and start in phone sales or as a sales associate and work your way up. You have the potential to make a lot of $$ in sales!

Violet: Your new white boyfriend looks nice. Stick with him and lose the Tacky Asian Couple of the Week feature on your blog. Replace with K-Town street fashion to highlight looks you like. This is not the time to make more enemies.

Jasmine and Christine: Work together to do more weddings/hair/make-up as a sibling company. You both have your entrepreneurial act together. Use this publicity to further your businesses

Jowe: Karma is a bitch. You will need to get a penile implant and pose for Playgirl now that the cat is out of the bag. Or just man up and say What You Get is What You Get and You Don’t Get Upset.

Young and Soyoung: Move to Guam and get your own spin off show. Leave these losers behind. They are dragging you down. Remember your big dance audition that you slept though? That might have changed your carer path! You’ll never know!

Jessica: You break up with Joe and you are off the show. Think that one over carefully.

Asian American Reality TV on the Internet

I’ve watched 9 episodes of K-Town now, and I have to confess that my guilty pleasure is reality TV shows and celebrity trash magazines. I don’t watch them that often, but I used to watch The Hills obsessively when Lauren Conrad was on the show. I am greatly amused by Real Housewives of New York, Atlanta and Los Angeles but I hate the O.C. ones. (I grew up in the O.C.). My husband likes Jersey Shore and, back in the day, MTV’s Real World which started this whole mess of reality trash TV.

K-Town is the answer to The Model Minority Myth. Watch this show and you’ll agree that there is such a thing as Asian kids who are:

1) Illiterate (Thanks Scarlett! The “rice” in licorice is not pronounced as such. Read much?)

2) Sexy but Douchey (Thanks Jowe! It’s good to know that Asian men can be Old Spice Guy attractive but you take this vibe and turn it sleazy.)

3) Alcoholics (Thanks Steve! Your friends need to stage an intervention. Next stop for you should be Betty Ford. Once the alcoholic buzz fades, your friendships will make more sense as you seem to be in a constant state of confusion over who your real friends are.)

4) Liars (Thanks Jowe! Yes, it’s ironic that you’d lie to pick up chicks that you are a U.S.C. dental student — the very Tiger Parent dream your parents wished upon you. If you’d rather sell cell phones, just own it. No need to lie about it.)

5) Bad Ass Street Fighters (Thanks Violet! It wasn’t pretty when you dumped your drink on Janie when the real culprit was your ex-douchey boyfriend, Jowe. Janie was an innocent bystander. Was that cat fight for ratings? If so, it worked. A little at least. But it made you look desperate.)

My favorite “character” is Young, as a struggling hip hop dancer who parties too hard in support of his friends and misses his big audition. He redeems himself by dancing up a storm at Asian Night Dance Night but I was disappointed to see more Michael Jackson moves than Young moves. I think your choreography needs to be sharpened up. Next stop for you? I’d love to see you on So You Think You Can Dance or Dancing With The Stars but seriously, is there really a career in dance as a male isn’t an actor or singer? What is your future? Back up dancer? Dance instructor? I hope you have more ancillary performing arts talent but you’re coming across as kind, supportive and a person of integrity. Perhaps you can move back to Korea as a celebrity spokesperson/soap opera actor type.

Cammy gets a bum rap. They use her as a sex pot for her amazingly body in promo shots but there’s absolutely no story line for her! Same for Jasmine. And Violet’s story line is too Jowe dominant. I’d rather see more of her as a single mom.

I’d also like to get glimpses into their Tiger Parents. Steve’s story is fascinating; parents who married without love that turned into rancorous hatred of the silent kind. It explains his relationship issues but I’d like to see him evolve into a more fully formed emotionally intact person capable of a real relationship with … the love under his nose, best friend CAMMY! Can you please mine this story line?

And where’s Joe’s girlfriend that he supposedly has? Let’s meet her! And Young’s fiance too! Why does Joe hang out with all these younger friends? Is club promotion a full time job? It seems like fellow club promotor, Rachel Uchitel, had a side gig to make ends meet.

Some interesting side notes:

• When I posted my post on LinkedIn Korean MBAs Working in the U.S., they demanded that I stop posting this kind of trash. They had no problems with anything else I had ever posted before. I think they find K-Town The Reality Show to be … trashy.
• K-Town has 8,700 Facebook LIKES. Sadly, perhaps Hollywood is right? No one wants to see an Asian American Reality Show? That’s not good so please LIKE even if you don’t actually like or watch the web reality series.
• K-Town Views on YouTube. At nearly 1 million views for the trailer, that’s not bad!
• K-Town on Twitter. Oops, at close to 3000 followers, I have way more than you K-Town. That’s not good!

What do you think?

Season Finale: K-Town the Reality Show, Episode 10

Viewed as passive and even too small a segment to bother with, Asian Americans were passive participants in American politics according to Loc Pfeiffer, but he says things are changing. With a presidential election coming up, the Asian American vote is the critical stealth swing vote in some states. But we still have a long ways to go.

For the full article on Growing Asian-American vote sheds passive past by JESSE WASHINGTON, AP National Writer, please go here.

Key quotes below:

• An assertive Asian America matters, especially in places like Virginia and Nevada, swing states where Asians have been growing in numbers and influence.
• The number of Asians in the United States has grown 25 percent in the last seven years, to 15 million, said Jane Junn, an associate professor of political science at Rutgers University. Educated people are more likely to vote, and 50 percent of the Asian population has a college degree, compared with 25 percent of the U.S. population…
• With a booming population of highly educated, increasingly Americanized voters, this former “silent minority” is entering the most engaged and visible era of its political history.
• “So much of what we deal with is the notion of being outsiders, foreigners, of being outside the social dialogue of the United States,” Yang said in an interview. “You look at Obama and those are some of the same aspersions and slanders being cast at him. He’s kind of the closest thing we can have legally to an immigrant in the White House. He’s somebody who understands this journey that Asian-Americans and other immigrants have made.”
• In the past, Asians were largely overlooked during past presidential campaigns because of their widely varied nationalities and concentration in the reliably Democratic states of California and New York.
• In the past, many Asians nationally have leaned Republican because of the party’s record of fighting Communism, support for small business owners, and emphasis on personal responsibility and family values.
• Two-thirds of U.S. Asians are foreign-born. Their American-born children are now thriving, many in professions like medicine, law and high-tech industries. English is the first language of this second generation. And they have landed squarely in the Obama sweet spot of young and educated supporters.

What do you think of Asian American political clout? Are you registered to vote? Are you voting this Fall? And what will influence your vote? Please share.

Are Racial Jokes Funny?

Thanks to Nathalie who sent me this article from AdWeek of pro skaters Don “The Nuge” Nguyen and Daniel “Shimeez” Shimizu depicted in a cartoon that references racial slurs. What do you think of it? Can you get away with racial slurs if you are making fun of your own kind? Is this offensive?

If you like retro TV and racist slurs, have we got the T-shirt for you. Baker Skateboards is taking some heat this week for its shirt called “The Gooks of Hazzard,” which refers to two Asian men as “good orr boys” driving a car called the General Li. The shirt probably doesn’t bother the two guys it depicts, whom we assume are pro skaters Don “The Nuge” Nguyen and Daniel “Shimeez” Shimizu. But it’s not sitting well with the Asian American Justice Center, which tells TMZ it’s “unacceptable for Baker Skateboards to create a depiction of Asian Americans which uses racial slurs and perpetuates racist stereotypes.” Our prediction: Non-skaters try to turn this into a cultural debate over self-referential racism, while skaters just laugh at the rest of us for being old and lame. Adweek

Are we taking this too seriously? If the skateboarders depicted don’t care, then we shouldn’t? What do you think?

Asian American Comedians

I was so impressed with Danny Cho, the writer behind K-Town Web Comedy Series K-Town Cowboys that I sought out his stand up. I’m glad I did because he’s FUNNY! This is his “clean” set. You gotta love a Korean American who grew up in East LA! He mines this experience of living in the hood with hilarious results. What’s next for Danny Cho? I hope big things!

If you are on the West Coast and want to see him live, here’s his touring schedule.

Does anyone remember that movie Diner with Kevin Bacon? I’d pitch this as a K-Town web series version of Diner. I found it trolling through YouTube searching for K-Town episode 3 and thought this was a reality show. It’s actually much better than a reality show. Written by talented stand up comedian Danny Cho, directed by Daniel “DPD” Park, and bringing together their posse of Korean American acting types, it’s a glimpse into the modern dating world of K-Town through the eyes of LA newbie John Kim, cast perfectly and played by Lanny Joon.

If you are hooked on K-Town, the reality show, this web series has similar themes like booking, Pok Tan Ju, and the multiple rounds of drinking known as il-cha, ee-cha, sam-cha, and sa-cha. Watch with caution. Very addicting. Make sure you have a free 90 minutes to view it all!

The Show

Ktown Cowboys came about in May 2009. Daniel “DPD” Park and Danny Cho were sitting and having a beer. They were reminiscing about their fun times in Koreatown (“Ktown”) Los Angeles when they were younger. Although both DPD and Danny had zero experience in making a movie, they set out to write a script about their glory days in Ktown. The idea was simple. Give the most realistic portrayal of Ktown ever done.

Once the writing process began, DPD and Danny quickly realized that instead of trying to go the traditional route (movie, theater distribution, etc.), they wanted as many people as possible to see their project. Hence, they decided to write a webisode series. By the end of October 2009, the writing for the webisode series was complete. However, writing the script was one thing but to actually go into production was another ordeal that DPD and Danny did not have any experience in. Fortunately, the Korean liquor company, Hite/Jinro agreed to give then $5000 to start production. With the money from Hite and one small fundraiser, DPD and Danny assembled the cast and crew and set off to finish Ktown Cowboys, which will eventually be re-cut into a feature length movie format.

Ktown Cowboys is a story about John Kim (Lanny Joon), a young Korean American from Richmond, Virginia, finds himself transplanted to Los Angeles’ Koreatown. Having been recently dumped by his girlfriend and with no immediate job prospects, Johnny is taken under the wing of his cousin Jason (Shane Yoon) and a motley crew of partyhoppers who are dedicated to having a good time. The cast includes Bobby Lee (MADtv), Justin Chon (Twilight), Danny Cho, Bobby Choy, Lanny Joon, Peter Jae, Sunn Wee and many more Asian Americans in the entertainment industry.

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Reviews & Buzz:
- Koream feature
- Rice Bomb
- Groove/Asia
- omgkpop.com
- examiner.com
- Angry Asian Man
- ‘Ktown Cowboys’ Episode 1 Hits the Web After a Sold-out World Premiere at LAAPFF
- Channel APA
- Angry Asian Man
- LAAPFF
- Peachies

When John Kim (Lanny Joon) relocates from the comforts of his picket-fence, WASP neighborhood of Richmond, Virginia to the alluring city of Ktown Los Angeles, the land of sultry women, Booking Clubs, and late night taco trucks, his arrival immediately sparks the most epic night of his life. His cousin, Jason (Shane Yoon) introduces John to his audacious crew (Peter Jae, Danny Cho, Sunn Wee, and Bobby Big Phony Choy) who teach John the basic yet inventive ways on how to survive the perfect Friday night in Ktown. Special appearances by Justin Chon (Twilight) and Bobby Lee (Mad TV).